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The Utility Function   | | Roster | | Lineups | | Pitching | | Schedule | | Stats | | Results



22 August 2053 @21:27 GMT



Season Milestones NOW Schedule Postseason: 4.1 days Extensions Deadline: 4.1 days Buyout Deadline: 4.1 days Leave League Deadlin: 4.1 days New League Deadline: 4.1 days Deadline for New Sta: 4.1 days First Playoff Games : 4.2 days Park Quarterfinals B: 4.7 days





The Utility Function
633 wins, 1914 losses
344,154 fans

All of these teams have played against the The Utility Function at least ten times. The ones on the top of the list have played the most.
OpponentRecord


Prince's Fielders
58 - 95


Charlie Sheen Winners Club
84 - 66


Syracuse Chiefs
60 - 58


Chris Jericho Greatest Of All Time
62 - 36


Omar Vizquel Gold Glovers
62 - 35


Williamston Whales
0 - 40


One Hit Wonders
36 - 0


Vermont Lake Monsters
15 - 20


Just A Bit Outsiders
1 - 34


Chicken Dinners
16 - 16


A To The Rizzo
14 - 17


Alaska Albatross
6 - 22


Way Below The Mendoza Line
7 - 21


Joe Cools
5 - 22


Milford Mudhens
1 - 26

OpponentRecord


Howard Johnsons
20 - 6


Finnish Sisu
7 - 19


Texas Mad Dog
4 - 20


Indiana Sluggers
0 - 24


Omaha Outlaws
2 - 21


Tusken City Raiders
5 - 16


Winterthur Deathwalkers
1 - 19


Eastbourne Sports
0 - 20


Charlock Dragonlords
0 - 19


The Original DeKU
5 - 14


Sacramento Dolphins
0 - 19


Department of Redundancy Dept.
1 - 17


Flint Stones
3 - 15


Tampa Monkeys
0 - 17

OpponentRecord


Log!c Langstas
15 - 2


Oan Green Lanterns
2 - 14


Transylvania Pioneers
1 - 15


Krieger's Van Adventures
1 - 15


Julian Morgensterns
0 - 15


Chicago Blues
5 - 10


Moon Shaped Pujols
2 - 13


Minnesota Twins
1 - 14


San Francisco Sinkers
3 - 11


Snidely Whiplash
1 - 12


Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan
0 - 13


Matai Shang's Holy Therns
6 - 7


Garinham Guards
1 - 12


Scranton/WilkesBarre Blazers
5 - 8


Festive Fireworks of Simyard
4 - 8

OpponentRecord


Wethersfield Red Onions
0 - 12


Morral Rockets
1 - 10


Roy's Realm
0 - 11


San Quentin Inmates
0 - 11


Decatur Staleys
0 - 11


Tennessee Tigers
3 - 7


Cosmobot Commiebird Cumarmy, Assemble!
2 - 8


Hot Live Sims
1 - 9


Chester Cobras
2 - 8


Sacred Howling Wolves
2 - 8


Rikers Lifers
1 - 9


Minnesota White Tails
1 - 9


PABF Bot
0 - 10


Poop on Pancakes
3 - 7


9 Games
Edinboro Buckeyes (0-9), Baltimore Orioles (0-9), Makoto's Agnes (3-6), Brookville Blue Devils (3-6), Jimstown Americans (2-7), Three Mile Island Melt Down (0-9), Cresson Helpers (0-9), Kasumi's Vanadis (0-9), Ohio Underdogs (0-9), Arizona Roadrunners (0-9), Park County Exhibitionists (2-7), Bushkill Bushkillers (1-8)

8 Games
Torn ACLs (0-8), Charlie Browns (0-8), Mcafee Maniacs (0-8), Tally Sharks (0-8), Ruka Blizzard (0-8), Bayside Tigers (1-7), Minnesota Golden Gophers (3-5), Damien Harris is Beast Runnning back! (0-8), I Know. I Checked. Online. (3-5), Moron Mountain Monstars (1-7), Florida Gators (0-8), Dover Grey Sox (0-8), Black Olives (0-8), Calgary Cosmobots (4-4), Death Star Storm Troopers (0-8), Toledo Mud Hens (1-7), Merlin Ghostwheels (2-6), Antioch Sequoits (1-7)

7 Games
Simpsonville Hokies (0-7), Northbrook Pants Poopers (1-6), Rather Bees (0-7), Crooked Bandits (0-7), Freshly Squeezed (0-7), New York Metropolitans (0-7), NES Mustangs (1-6), Parking Meters (0-7), Yeetus Deletus (1-6), Polizei Winden (1-6), Elmer Fudd (0-7), Hoth Tantauns (0-7), Rose Finches (2-5), Tennessee Bobcats (0-7)

6 Games
Diamond Dogs (0-6), Overcooked Celery Processes (0-6), Orphan Black Clones (0-6), Overclocked Celeron Processors (0-6), London Underground (0-6), Winnipeg Whips (1-5), SCLSU Muddogs (0-6), SimYard Park Rookie Training (0-6), Montour Centenials (2-4), It Hurts When I BillPee (0-6), Honolulu, HI Hawks (0-6), Stugotz' Army (0-6), Ancient Legendary Wolves (0-6), Centerville Patriots (0-6), Syracuse Back The Blue (0-6), Vkanids' Mint In Box Permits (0-6), Lemurian Star Seeds (0-6), Lewiston Screamin' Demons (2-4), East Michigan Zephyrs (0-6)

5 Games
Wormtown Wolverines (0-5), Lost in Space Robot B-9s (0-5), Meter Readers (0-5), Girl Scout Cookies (0-5), Texas Boogie-Woogies (0-5), Birds Hill Folkies (0-5), Riverview Gardeners (0-5), It Don't Come Easy (0-5), Orange Cassidys (2-3), The Time I Fell Asleep On The Toilet (0-5), Tars Tarkas' Green Martians (0-5), Shoveltown Shoveling Shovels (0-5), Gothenburg Freakshow (0-5), Eugene Pioneers (0-5), Imperial Hunters (1-4), Steveb Bfepn (2-3), Bend Cedars (1-4), Death Is Coming For Us All (2-3), Regular Team (0-5)

4 Games
Berwick Cougars (1-3), B.K.'s Basement Dwellers (0-4), Polk High Panthers (0-4), Karankawa Indians (1-3), Sim Yard Waste Management (0-4), New York Fightin Screwdrivers (1-3), Florida Man (0-4), Texas Storm (0-4), Island of Misfit Toys (0-4), Fall Guys Ultimate Knockout is cool! (1-3), WOW!! IT'S ADORABLE KITTENS IN SWEATERS! (1-3), Rio Mesa Spartans (0-4), Tennessee Cougars (0-4), Tasmanian Devil (0-4), Forest Moon Chiefs (0-4), Mon Calimari Admirals (0-4), Saticoy Little Leaguers (0-4), Pikachu Thundershocks (0-4), Haywards Heath Blues (0-4), New Haven Hawks (3-1)

3 Games
Hillsborough Hitmen (0-3), Calculating Infinity (1-2), Super Dodgeball Champions (0-3), Electric Meters (0-3), Lost Muffins (0-3), Hartford Wailords (0-3), Philadelphia Phillies (0-3), Bonny Doon Fire Evacuees (0-3), Delmarva Shorebirds (0-3), Chrono Meters (0-3), Bulletproof Tiger (0-3), Dirt Schwag (0-3), Zigs Dreamers (1-2), Columbia Predators (0-3), Lahti Pelicans (0-3), Prince George Punishers (0-3), Let me hear both sides (0-3), Wisconsin Winter 20 Below Zero Kids (0-3), Stony Point Rocks (0-3), New York Revenge (0-3), Holts Summit Helicopters (0-3), Bad News Bears (3-0), Last Alliance of Elves and Men (0-3), Morgan Road Wolves (0-3), Here Come The Runs (0-3), Kingston River Rats (0-3), Philadelphia Green Sox (0-3), Davis County Devils (0-3), Carrollton Cobras (0-3), Slumdog Slingers (0-3), Pile of Poop (0-3), VC Pirates (0-3), West Vigo Vikings (0-3), Simon Bar Sinister (0-3), Der Bunker (0-3), Der Windenwald (1-2), Valencia Reyes (0-3), Jazz Chisholm (0-3), Ticonderoga Thoroughbreds (0-3), Worthing Rebels (0-3), Crue Lue (0-3), Tennessee Snow Leopards (0-3), Fargo Flyers (0-3), Toronto (GCL) Blue Jays (0-3), Unidentified Flying Object (0-3), Jacob deGrom No Decisions (0-3), Cape Ventura AlleyCats (0-3), Bronx Yankees (3-0)

2 Games
Cincinnati Reds (0-2), The Abusement Park (1-1), Boston Beersnobs (0-2), Water Meters (0-2), Wichita Linemen (0-2), Skaro Daleks (0-2), Marrakesh Express (0-2), While My Guitar Gently Weeps (0-2), Pawtucket Phantoms (0-2), The Fanta Menace (0-2), The Team Formerly Known As Sharks (0-2), Dungeon Run (0-2), Dubuque Fighting Saints (1-1), Ottawa Beaver Tails (1-1), Mega Man (0-2), Junior Fielders (0-2), Adventure Bay Paw Patrol (0-2), This is SimYard 2.0 So Suck It! (0-2), Parking It! (0-2), Twilight Hunting Wolves (0-2), Vtboo's Latex Whippers (0-2), AWW IT'S CUTE LITTLE KITTENS IN TRAINING! (0-2), Tenet is awesome Timebender Movie! (0-2), Pyke Kraken (0-2), Brockville Chiefs (0-2), Tampa Bay Rays (2-0), Fourth Gear (2-0), Rio Grande City Coyotes (0-2), Southern Illinois Salukis (0-2), Port Isabel Tarpons (0-2), Wooper's Whoopers (0-2), Wile E Coyote (0-2), Candy Island (0-2), Failed Ninjas (1-1), Cloud Strife (0-2), Orion Archers (2-0), Sheffield United (0-2), Vigilante Moscows (1-1), Cologne Commodores (1-1), Chasen Shreve (0-2), Atlantis Angels (1-1), Tennessee Jaguars (0-2), Wandering Hubbles (0-2), Burgess Hill Hillians (1-1), Philadelphia Wolves (0-2), Poseidon Trident Spears (1-1), East Atlanta Falcons (1-1)

1 Game
MacArthur Park (0-1), Morgana's Mercurius (0-1), Fireball XL-5s (0-1), Jacksonville Jorts (0-1), Gas Meters (0-1), Timbuktu Pooponewe (0-1), KFC Express (0-1), St. Louis Blues (1-0), One Winged Angel (0-1), Ft Worth Cats (0-1), Weekend Charlie Hustle (0-1), Speedo Meters (0-1), Postage Meters (0-1), Morpheus' Matrix Bunnies (1-0), Edinboro Lancers (0-1), Sarasota Bay Snapping Turtles (0-1), Kalamazoo Kangaroo (0-1), Little Switzerland Innkeepers (1-0), East Tennessee Rhinestones (1-0), Yuri Tarded (0-1), Anishinaabe Falcons (0-1), Bartlett Wannabees (0-1), Lake Superior Sharks (0-1), Chuck E. Cheeses (0-1), Mikkeli Jokers (1-0), Baltimore Ravens (0-1), Meeseeks and Destroy (1-0), Westminster Bernicrats (0-1), Callaway Co Tigers (0-1), Aliens Parasites (0-1), Audrey Marie is Hot in Teal Latex (0-1), BARELY LEGAL TEENAGE BASEBALL KITTY CATS! (1-0), Black Rifle Coffee Company (0-1), Easton Rum Runners (0-1), Small Town Dreams Big City Memes (0-1), The China Virus Fucked My Fat Face (0-1), Farmington Bombers (0-1), Salt Lake Storm (0-1), Moscow MG-50s (0-1), Anteater Amalgamation (0-1), Minas Tirith Tower Guard (0-1), Untimely Errors (1-0), Wilmington Gold Sox (0-1), Collins Black Sox (0-1), Lebanon Tan Sox (0-1), Bluefield Blue Jays (0-1), Tennessee Bengals (0-1), Noone Cares (0-1), Sengoku Nadeko (0-1), Avatar Korra (1-0), Willians Astudillo (0-1), Kernkraftwerk Winden (0-1), Waldhotel Winden (0-1), VHS Cougars (0-1), Pfarrkirche Winden (0-1), Bushaltestelle Winden (0-1), Austin Ants (0-1), Betelgeuse Super Novas (0-1), Green Finches (0-1), LoCaL BrEwS & CoRnHole CreW (0-1), Denair Coyotes (0-1), Durham Devils (0-1), Connecticut Convicts (0-1), Oregon Ducks (1-0), Arbor Bay Atheists (0-1), Atlantis Mermen (0-1), Montalvo Little Leaguers (0-1), Paris Saint Germain (0-1), Tampa Bay Rays* (0-1), CIA Treadstone (0-1), Philadelphia Union (1-0), Zeus Master Bolt (1-0), Orlando Reavers (0-1), Randy Johnson’s Big Unit (0-1), The Lovable Losers (0-1), Sacramento is in California (1-0), London Railoads (1-0), Notorious Black Cats (1-0), The Team (1-0)


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